Flicker of Inspiration - "Note to Self"

Dear Self:

Allow me to introduce yourself. I'm me, from about 10 years in your future. Your first piece of advice: study grammar, especially regarding subject pronouns when the first person and the second person are the same person.

You're, what? A junior now? So that means you're still an idiot about women. Well, don't sweat that! For one thing, there's not a damn thing to do about it. For another, the women you know now aren't worth your trouble. Harsh, right? Well they're not. You're all kinds of hung up on that Jennifer girl, but let me tell you: not worth it. Oh, she might be worth it if you actually did something, but you're too damn shy for that. Also, not to be overly blunt, but she's not that into you. As a friend, ok, but more than that I can't promise. Get over it, move on, you have many more important things to do. Women aren't your problem, you just think they are because you're 16. I have that situation under control, so you can just leave it for the next five years or so. (oooh, death sentence, right? Well, you'll live. And it'll be worth it.)

What I want you to do is this: that story you're working on? Don't delete that. It's basically the only substantial piece of written word you've actually accomplished so far. It's not that great and it'll never be fit for publication, but damn it it's worth saving, if only to serve as a reference point for the future. Your characters need a hell of a lot more development, and you spend way too much time on your magic/technology mechanics. You should probably think about how you want to end it, too; the big, flaming Clash-of-the-Titans thing ends up being a dead end. Your setting is the problem, actually; no matter the scope of the battle, it's limited by the setting, so it's never going to have real impact. Shift the focus. Or just start something new. But don't trash it, even though it's completely awful. You know it is, so don't be insulted.

Meanwhile, you're not fat yet. Don't worry, you won't get super fat or anything, but if I recall correctly you're still safely under 175 at least, right? Well, after high school, you won't be working out that often, you know? I would suggest getting membership at the Honker gym, since that's going to be the main source of exercise for you for the next two years, but you probably won't. Anime and manga will take too much of your time. Still, it wouldn't kill you to get something better than corn dogs and macaroni and cheese to be the two central staples of your diet. Just saying.

And while I'm here questioning your decisions, why don't you learn to drive? Would it kill you? Don't say "yes." It's not that bad, you're just being lazy. If you manage your money better and don't spend like $600 a week on anime and manga you could probably afford a car. As I recall, just about every penny you make goes toward anime or manga or something, you're not saving for college or living on your own. Not much ambition in you now, is there? I've got the future under control, but if you could do just a little, like I don't know going to college once you graduate, cutting some of the crappier manga from your purchasing plans, maaaybe saving a little... it would help. Anime and manga aren't your future, sorry. If you have a future in the creative arts, it is not in consuming them, trust me; there's not much of a job market there. You seem creative; create! If you could stick to that a little, that would help me a lot too; working out those muscles you let atrophy has been a serious pain in my ass, pun intended; I don't care if all you do is fan fiction for Dragon Ball Z (hell, you could probably plot better than the original, I wager), just do a little something to get some creative experience so that I don't have to make up for all your lost time.

You don't know what's coming for you, so let me break it down in small words so you'll understand why it's important to actually try a little now and then. You will not live in your parents' back yard forever. You will grow up. You will meet someone. You will get married. You will move out of your parents' house and well beyond their ability to help you in any convenient way. Oh, those were big words, let me back up a little. You grow. Be big man. Get marry. Much happy. No screw up. Me smash. Face ugly. You no want. Me no want. Be all happy, work good.


Oh, and one last thought. The hair. I know you don't have a good reason. It doesn't look good, I know this for a fact. From what I can guess, it will only look worse once your bald spot starts growing in. Snip snip, kid.  Save yourself some grief.

~J.